Wednesday, October 1, 2025

Pelts For XP - D6 People You Meet

Where there's a whip, there's a way!
Where there's a whip, there's a way!
Where there's a whip, there's a way!
Left, right, left, right, left

We don't wanna go to war today
But the Lord of the Lash says: "nay, nay, nay!"
We're gonna march all day, all day, all day!
Where there's a whip there's a way!

Alexander Korotich

1: BONE FLUTE
Hobgoblins are ubiquitous mercenaries after the collapse of the Serpentman Empire - instability in the Underdark causing many to go topside to seek their fortunes. This deluge of foreign sellswords hasn't helped the hobs' reputation as a race of murderous lunatics. 

Bone Flute's name derives from an Underdark practice of turning enemies into musical instruments. Gruesome, but at least they're remarkably good singers

The company has twenty seven Hobgoblins (OSE). They fight using pike and shot warfare, twelve landsknechts with polearms protect another twelve with muskets. Two 4HD doppelsöldners with zweihänders command the pikemen and musketeers respectively. Münchberger the 5HD Hobgoblin King leads the company, clad in a baby blue +2 Cape Of Protection and carrying their (stolen) Banner Of Wound Closure.

The hobs adore bright colours, floppy hats and outrageously large codpieces. Their weapons are all silvered for stabbing magical monsters. They feast their friends, butcher their enemies and never miss an opportunity to get drunk.

Bone Flute travels on a stolen merchant barge rechristened "The Lash's Kiss". The boat is poled by four Merrow (OSE Adv) who operate in shifts to avoid suffocating. The water ogres are hopeless alcoholics, something the soldiers use (along with ample whipping) to keep them in line. The hobs have a single cannon (6D6 DMG, 3 rounds to reload) on the deck, but struggle to hit moving targets. 

The Lash's Kiss contains 19,400 GP in pelts, coin and plundered goods. Bone Flute leave the Merrow and four Hobgoblins behind to guard their boat when they go ashore.

Daniel Hopfer

2: THE DAINTY MAIDS
These elite female cataphracts are famous for their vows of chastity, unicorn mounts and inspiring an entire subgenre of nunsploitation porn. They recruit from the unwed daughters of noble houses, offering them a life of adventure, excitement and righteous crusades. 

House Attis has three such daughters questing through the Bloody Marches, pursuing a dragon that kidnapped their sole male heir. The warriors are highly motivated; they need their brother alive to keep the royal line going. Him dying means some nobleman jizzing a baby into one of them. 

No more adventuring, no more meeting and killing interesting people. Death pales in comparison.

RHODOPHIS THE SHINING
Level 7 Knight clad in an opaque glass set of +1 Plate of Spell Reflection. Prophecy foretold it would fit her alone. Carries a horseman's pick, shield and Rod of Cancellation.

TALIA THE SLEEPING
Level 6 Knight clad in plate armour with a surcoat so blue it looks black. Carries a Potion of Growth and the cursed +2 Greatsword "Moonsun" which can cast Sleep on targets of 8+1 HD, at the cost of also rendering the wielder comatose.

PYRRHA THE RED
Level 7 Knight clad in mithril chain (movement as unarmoured) and a crimson +2 Cloak of Defence. Carries a Horn of Panic, a +1/+3 Labrys of Wolfsbane (+3 versus shapechangers and canines) and a brace of silver throwing daggers.

The three virgin knights ride Unicorns (OSE) into battle. Their vows forbid them from using ranged weapons, so they focus on closing the gap and butchering their foes in CQC.

The Dainty Maids travel on "The Gelded Lion", a trireme rowed by sixteen warrior-eunuchs (Knight 1) carrying chainmail, oblong shields, fat shortswords and throwing spears. The sisters also pressganged Sister Diana, a nun of Bread & Beer (Friar 5), into providing clerical magic to the crew. 

The Gelded Lion is equipped with a catapult loaded with payloads of dried unicorn dung. The stuff burns like wildfire, dealing damage as Holy Water and Burning Oil in the beaten zone. Aside from that, the ship only contains 1,600 GP in coins and pelts the crew trapped out of boredom.

Jean Pichore

3: MEN OF THE GARDEN
The Floating Garden is a city-state famous for its maritime trade, dyeworks and coteries of assassins. Any self-respecting Man of the Garden would take great offence at being called a common cutthroat, probably right before they ram a +1 dagger into your back.

5th level Assassin, Genos the Gardener, heads a cabal of five 1st level hitmen working as longhunters in the Bloody Marches. The bravos are accompanied by seven Thouls (OSE), mutant supersoldiers who chose the winning side over being disassembled for alchemical reagents.

The Gardeners wear leather armour and dark purple cloaks that provide surprisingly good camouflage. They wield rapiers, bucklers and crossbows with bolts coated in paralytic Thoul venom. Genos carries a Ring of Invisibility and +1/+3 Spada Da Lato of Hydrophobia (+3 versus anything with a swim speed, those struck must Save vs Spells to enter water). 

The Gardeners travel the Redriver in a war gondola rowed by their Thoul auxiliaries and armed with a pair of scorpio (3D6 DMG, 3 rounds to reload). The boat's cargo hold contains 7,270 GP in furs, assorted coinage and expensive dyes. They leave a pair of Assassins to guard the vessel when they go ashore, who expertly camouflage it and rig the area with venom-laced traps. 

Frans Hals

4: THE HERESIARCHS
Elven longhunters with close ties to the Druid Mafia, a cushy relationship that gets them preferential treatment, potion discounts and tariff exemptions. In exchange they do the occasional pro bono jobs for the druids (and by extension the See). 

The party consists of three 1st level High Elves and three 1st level Wood Elves. They're led by Tooth Fairy, a 3rd level Wood Elf with full body tattoos (including her eyeballs) and wooden dentures. 

Tooth Fairy carries a Ring of Control Insect and a +1 Whip of Domination (on hit, Charm Person for one round). The High Elves carry fogwood plate armour (buoyant in water), mancatchers, nets and blackjacks. The Wood Elves carry leather armour, blowpipes loaded with Yellow Lotus (Save vs Poison or unconscious per Sleep spell) and bolas (Save vs Paralysis or fall prone). 

Adherents of the Tree Of Life, the elves are forbidden from personally taking a life, which Tooth Fairy circumvents with a charmed Giant Water Skimmer (stats as Giant Mantis, OSE Adv). The bug performs the coup de grace after the Heresiarchs subdue their prey.

The hunters traverse the Redriver in a quartet of canoes. Three are piloted by a pair of Elves, the fourth carries Tooth Fairy and is towed by the Water Skimmer. On foot they travel light, using two Bags of Holding to hold their supplies, canoes and 8,900 GP in monster parts.

Dale Jorgensen

5: EATS-SHOOTS-AND-LEAVES
Poorly equipped but skilled outdoorsmen. A mixture of local Orcs that escaped the Mafia's yoke and mountain men from an earlier period of human settlement. Some of the last remaining worshippers of Phantom Limb after his cult disintegrated a few decades back.

A dozen men strong, half 1st level Rangers and half 1st level Orcs. Equipped with heavy furs, wooden shields, hunting spears, seaxes and shortbows. Accompanied by five War Dogs (OSE Adv). Led by Spitroast (Orc 4), a greenman mutated by alchemical runoff during his time in the MEATCAMP. Has the head of an Oil Beetle (OSE), allowing him to spray blinding oil at people.

Shoots-And-Leaves prefer corralling their prey into simple traps or natural hazards. They also exploit their infravision to hunt crepuscular or nocturnal animals. Bound by a sense of frontier hospitality, they'll at least try to rescue other longhunters in trouble. They travel on rafts or Mules (OSE).

They carry 4,200 GP in pelts secured to their raft, tied to their mules or carried on their backs. Disassemble their raft whenever they land, using their skill as woodsmen to rebuild it as necessary.

William R. Leigh

6: THE GOLDSTONES
Scalphunters from the shepherding colony of Fallowfields, a franchise of the Church of Fat Sun sent to establish a foothold in the Bloody Marches. The bulk of the expeditionary force is ten Halflings (OSE) armed with chain, shields, swords and slings, commanded by the perpetually drunk Ditch-Twitch

The expedition is led by Lalo (Cleric 3), a Fat Sun priest who perfectly balances greed and paranoia. He wears plate mail and is armed with a six-sided mace, a shield with a Glyph of Burning Hands (17 charges) and a Potion of Fire Resistance.

Accompanying the expedition is the wizard Blood-For-Sex (Magic User 2), a lazy pornomancer who worships the Symphony Of Flesh. She was hired to cast from a pile of Serpentman spell tablets Lalo looted (mirror image, ventriloquism, telekinesis, shield).

The Goldstones travel on the sailing boat "Final Fluke". The vessel has a siphōn loaded with Green Slime (OSE) that's capable of blasting ooze up to 150ft. The same tank that feeds the projector is connected to pipes on the boat's sides, letting the crew spray boarders.

If ashore, the Goldstones unleash slimes on their boat and remove the sail to prevent it being stolen. They travel on Riding Horses (OSE), with the halflings riding three to a mount.

The Final Fluke contains 5,050 GP in Serpentman jewelry, coinage and pelts. This is right next to the slime tank, which Lalo naturally boobytrapped to explode if his horde is tampered with. If the tank ruptures, there's enough ooze inside to form a Gelatinous Cube (OSE).

Nicolas Régnier

THE MAKING OF
Despite being called "Pelts For XP", this project hasn't had a lot of hunting-based content. That's OK, the name's really just a placeholder that overstayed its welcome. But it still felt good to write up some longhunters for my players to run into.

  • Bone Flute came from a discussion on the OSE Discord about Orcs and Hobgoblins as 16th century German-Swiss mercenaries. 

  • The Dainty Maids are based on a throwaway line from a Rogues Wallet post. 
  • Men Of The Garden are the Genovesan Assassins from the Ranger's Apprentice. 
  • The Heresiarchs pacificist Elf religion comes from the linked Rogues Wallet post.
  • Eats-Shoots-And-Leaves are the straight men to this motley collection of adventurers.
  • The Goldstones are based on my run of the Serpentmen's Sacrament, where one player left halfway through. I used his Cleric as an excuse for why the players couldn't get all the loot after killing the undead snakes - his posse hoovered up anything they left behind.

This is intended as a D6 table for rolling "ADVENTURING PARTY" as a random encounter. As an aside, you could also roll a 2-in-6 chance for riverside encounters to see if the vessel is unoccupied. Defeating a boat's guards and looting all the stored furs would be an easy payday.

Naturally, rival adventurers might do the same thing to the players when they go ashore.

Gaston Fébus

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