Tuesday, January 6, 2026

The Dogs Of War (GLoG Race-As-Class: Wood Elf)


Francisco Goya

Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, all the earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth."
Genesis [1:26]

DEODAND

Skill: 1. Herbalism. 2. Butchery. 3. Handcrafts. 4. Astronomy.

Starting Items: An applewood flask of water, a dense brick of pemmican, a heartwood bow (medium) and a quiver of two dozen arrows, a chert spear (medium), an obsidian knife (light), the tanned skin of something you killed (light), cabachon jewellery and two Wyld Trinkets.

The Deodands are to humans what wolfhounds are to wolves. Something that looks like you, but twisted into a form better suited to kill you. Elongated limbs and clawed hands. Massive saucer eyes and distendable jaws with too many fucking teeth. A race selectively bred by the Nephilim into bipedal killing machines with a divine mandate to bring the wild places of Urth to heel. 

Mercifully, most Deodands have abandoned their creators - fleeing into the wilds and forming isolated hunter-gatherer societies. How surprising that a slave army of asocial uber-survivalists would have a desertion problem. A few still wander Urth, selling their services as elite pathfinders or fighting as mankillers in the Nephilim's constant internecine wars.

These wild men suffer a congenital allergy to metal that causes fatigue and swelling - metallic items weigh double the slots in their hands. So they travel light, preferring weapons of bone, flint and wood. Given their aversion to precious metals, Deodands treasure jewels above all. It's well known a fistful of gemstones can buy you safe passage through their bloodsoaked woods.


Matt Rhodes

Gain +1 MOVE per template.

A: Beast Speech, Manhunter, +1 to hit
B: Pathfinder, +2 INIT
C: Green Man, +1 to hit
D: Bloodsport, +1 damage

As a Deodand, you are proficient with spears, knives, clubs, bows, darts and anything else that doesn't use metal. This includes the hands, teeth and claws that the Gods gave you. You can wear any armour, so long as its crafted from the corpse of something you killed. As an obligate carnivore, you can eat plant matter if you have to, but require meat to sustain yourself.

BEAST SPEECH
You can speak the primal tongue. This isn't some cutesy whistling - you screech, roar, squawk and howl in a perfect imitation of any beast you've interacted with before. You can adjust Reaction Rolls with animals and strike up basic conversations with them. 

MANHUNTER
You can move twice as fast as a normal man, so long as you're running on all fours. Your fists, feet and teeth count as medium weapons. You can flawlessly track someone so long as you've tasted their blood, sweat or other bodily excretion.

PATHFINDER
You swim and climb as easily as you walk. You suffer no malus fighting upside down, submerged or in any other situation where nature conspires to hamper you. You take no damage from falling into water or landing on someone, in which case they take all the damage of your fall instead of half.

GREEN MAN
You have the green sight, living foliage can't impede your vision (this doesn't extend to tree trunks, which are mostly dead cells) and you can see beyond the horizon as if Urth was flat. Mechanically, you cannot be surprised by overland encounters, and detect such encounters at double the usual distance.

You can also now survive on sunlight and rainwater alone, though doing so makes you violently hungry. You must SAVE when killing an enemy to not begin devouring their corpse.

BLOODSPORT
If you kill and eat an enemy, heal HP equal to their HDx2. You don't have to eat them whole, but you must spend at least an entire turn sucking up blood and biting chunks from their corpse. This ability doesn't function on inorganic monsters, but does work on corporeal undead. Dropkick a vampire and drink their blood for a change.

WYLD TRINKETS (d12)

  1. Fogwood. A small log attached to a length of rope. Incredibly buoyant, enough to keep an armoured man afloat. Useful for rescuing small children or bumbling foreigners weighed down with metal. 1 slot.
  2. Screaming Arrow. A trio of weird arrows with fat heads. Deal no damage when fired, but release a terrifying death whistle that lowers enemy morale by 1 for the duration of a fight. Effect doesn't stack. 3 arrows to a slot.
  3. Reed Raincoat. A thick cloak of woven rice straw and reeds excellent at keeping the rain off your back. Difficult to fight in, but easily doffed. Renders you nearly invisible if you spend a minute camouflaging yourself. 2 slots.
  4. Ogre Mask. A heavy wooden mask carved to look like a grinning demon. Popular among warriors fighting as mercenaries abroad. Most people, upon being surprised by you, must roll morale or run away screaming. 1 slot.
  5. Bola. A length of thick cord attached to heavy stones. Creatures struck must SAVE or drop prone and lose all their movement. Sawing through the cord takes at least two rounds. 1 slot.
  6. Whistle. An ornate wooden whistle that can mimic animal calls over a long distance. Used to train children who haven't mastered beast speech. You can show someone how to use it with an hour's practice. 1/3 slot.
  7. Body Paint. A ceramic pot filled with a mixture of clay and tree sap. Enough uses for five people. Applying the paint neutralises much of the wearer's body odour, repels insects and makes them difficult to spot at night. 1 slot.
  8. Glue Net. A large net made from giant spider web, stored in a thoroughly oiled leather bag. Incredibly sticky and worryingly flammable, can ensnare up to two creatures (or one big one). Effectively single use. 2 slots.
  9. Glass Spear. A heavy weapon made from imported glass. More a status symbol than an instrument of war, but still effective. Roll max damage and the blade breaks off inside the victim. Deals d4 damage every round until someone picks the shards out. 2 slots.
  10. Unicorn Hair. A 6' length of golden cord. Completely waterproof and effectively indestructible. Makes an excellent bowstring (+1 to hit). If used as a garrotte from surprise, attacks as a medium weapon and deals maximum damage to undead.
  11. Warding Stones. A bag of a few dozen white stones. Explode with an loud bang when broken. Typically spread on the ground as a simple alarm system. Throwing a fistful at someone could provoke a morale test. 1 slot.
  12. Firefly Lantern. A glass orb filled with glowbugs that obey simple commands. Sheds 30' of bright light or dim light or nothing at all if the bugs are sleeping. You can release them to illuminate a distant area, but you must spend a turn gathering the errant bugs to relight the lantern. 1 slot.

Over The Garden Wall

THE MAKING OF
"Grapes of Wrath" is a TTRPG setting I'm putting together for PRIMEUMATON's Starter Box Challenge. This is a trial run at writing a GLoG class for that world. 

Green sight is taken from Mellonbread's Begone FOE! fantasy heartbreaker. The idea for using "deodand" is also lifted from his Meat Points microfiction. The core inspiration for a genetically engineered wolfhound elf comes from Matt Rhodes' DEAD gODS project. Much of the language is lifted from Gene Wolfe's Book of the New Sun series.

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